A year ago (further back than that…just being honest!), my congregation began a journey further into the depths of hell. You don’t think of churches making trips to such god-awful places, but it happens. Those in the ministry would probably not care to express how often this actually happens. This church had been making its descent into such a dark place for such a long time…from what I can read into, we’re talking the up words of 15 years…some have argued 25.

Often in the LCMS, we hear about the abuses of pastors over congregations and congregations that chew up pastors (and other church workers) and spit them out. What you don’t hear about is the uncharacteristic, the unchristian attitude that causes this to happen. If you’ve been in the LCMS, you don’t need links to prove this to be true. If you’re outside of the LCMS, sorry, I’m not going to apply any of those links- too much madness.

I could lament more about the state of this or that, but I’d rather figure out what happened here. Which I’ve spent too much time thinking, praying, and so on about. So, what caused this congregation to spiral out of control? Money? (it is the root of all evil, it played the primary role in discussions, but it truly was secondary) I don’t think that it was entirely money. No, it was pride and arrogance. Not from one side to another, but in every which way. Because of contractual, legal binding agreements, I’m not at liberty to throw names out there and I don’t think that I would want to anyways. It doesn’t solve anything. It’s 10 months from the vote to close down half of the ministry of this church. I still remember part of that meeting.

I remember a part of that meeting that no one else does, nor could. As I was being thrown under the bus by just about every faculty member, I was in prayer. It was not a pleasant day. Maybe they were right, no one will ever know. But in this meeting, the only conversation that I was in was with the Lord. (I never shared that with anyone.) I’m normally the “Simon Peter” in those meetings- open mouth, insert foot. But this one, of any of them, I was unusually silent.

I never really shared my rationale for that. But here we go. I felt that I was in a very tough spot. Knowing how a large group of people felt about me, probably due to a whole number of reasons- some of which were sins on my part, which in the opportunity I had, they were confessed. I also knew that if things went [the way they did], I would have to live with the congregation’s decision- thus having to walk together with them. So, feeling and thinking that I am in a no win situation, I prayed (silently).

You could cheer me for not saying anything, chide me for not speaking up. But the reality was that I felt over my head. Not just felt, but really was. No pastor is ready to have that load of trash dumped upon him. So, for the three months (okay, if I include how down I was, 7 months or so) that followed were miserable. I had people angry with me, I became public enemy number one. Didn’t matter what I said, I was ________.

11 months later, I’m doing better. In fact, I’m probably doing my job better too. Not just me, but the congregation is doing better. Don’t get me wrong- I didn’t want to see what happened happen- but sometimes, when things are falling apart, it is better to seek the Lord. Actually, it is always better to seek the Lord.